Whatever you pay attention to is automatic

In every conversation, your nervous system is quietly directing the show - deciding what you notice, what you say, how you move. It's like an invisible choreographer shaped by your past experiences, your traumas, your attachment history.

As one of my former employers wisely shared: A wife once told her husband, "You think you're the head, but I am the neck. Wherever the neck turns, the head follows." Similarly, our unconscious patterns are the neck, directing our attention, our responses, our very way of being in relationships.

If you grew up with a critical parent, you might constantly scan for disapproval, your words automatically shaped to please. If past love left wounds, your body might unconsciously create distance before closeness can threaten.

But here's the profound truth: While these patterns helped us survive, they often keep us recreating the past instead of experiencing the fresh aliveness of the present moment. There's a deeper intelligence available to us:

• One that speaks body to body, being to being. It doesn't require knowledge, only sensitivity. This is where we can:

• Ride the waves of connection

• Feel how life itself breathes through us

• Trust something bigger than our protective patterns

• Discover rather than control

• Play naturally, as we were meant to

The beauty of this deeper intelligence is that it invites us to come alive, not just to survive. It’s a call to step out of our well-worn patterns and into the raw, vibrant experience of connection—both with ourselves and with others. In this context, our relationships become more than interactions; they become mirrors for growth, reservoirs of healing, and playgrounds for discovery. The question isn’t whether you can escape your past, but whether you’re ready to meet it with curiosity, compassion, and courage—and, in doing so, open to the profound aliveness waiting in the present moment.